


Mistake

by addesin



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Forgiveness, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 17:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5835304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addesin/pseuds/addesin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Stop,” Andrew commanded. Neil had little time to register before Andrew forcibly grabbed his hands, shoving them away, back at Neil.</i>
</p><p> </p><p> <i>The shock left Neil stuttering. “Wh-Wha? D-did I do something wrong?”</i></p><p>In which Neil takes things too fast.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what to tag this with buuuut here ya go.

Andrew had been keen on Neil’s hands on him these last couple days. He’d move them where he wanted them, usually his neck or his sides, and kiss Neil until they both were dizzy and breathless and it was so insanely good that Neil couldn’t help grinning like an idiot after every delicious moment they spent cramped in tight, hidden spaces for each private moment. It was sloppy and rough, but Andrew was more pliable than he’d ever been. He nipped Neil’s lips and even once or twice grappled them so Neil was above him, between his thighs, groin to groin.

Neil hadn’t forgot their careful, controlled boundaries but their lines were looking wobbly and blurred. He could crowd Andrew into a corner with silent requests for kisses and Andrew would grant them. He could spend hours, years working on his neck and Andrew would pant into his ear without argument. Andrew used dirty phrases to rile up Neil in public and the take joy in how Neil would respond to the teasing later in private.

They took pleasure in how sick their roommates were of them, how they had plenty of time alone as Nicky and Kevin avoided the bedroom when both boys were in the dorm together, lest they walked in on Andrew forcing Neil over on the mattress and hear exactly how keen Neil was to voice his approval.

Andrew growled in response, but it was almost playful and bled with approval. He climbed between Neil’s thighs and rutted against him as they shared a heady kiss and Neil let out small sounds that went straight to Andrew’s dick.

“Good,” Neil murmured as Andrew pulled back to yank Neil’s shirt over his head. The following gropes and caresses brought Neil to revise his statement to, “Nh, so good.”

Andrew’s sharp eyes were intense and blown out with a look of desire that might have made Neil afraid if he weren’t so familiar with it. He returned it with a breathless smile that turned into a gasp when Andrew ground against him again.

They worked slowly through their usual routine, taking their time. Eventually, Andrew moved Neil’s hands to his hips, and moved to his jaw, peppering it with kisses and half-swallowed moans, which promised the jeans they were both wearing might be gone soon.

Neil turned into Andrew’s neck and took joy in the shiver that jolted through Andrew in response.

“Asshole,” Andrew grunted under his breath.

Neil’s response was a hearty chuckle. “Feel good?” he asked around hitched breath as Andrew reached between them to unclasp the button of his pants.

“No,” Andrew lied casually before sinking his teeth briefly into the crook between Neil’s neck and shoulder.

“You’re not as good a liar as me,” Neil teased, letting his fingers wander. Andrew’s skin was hot to the touch and felt incredibly beneath Neil’s hands.

Andrew snorted, but it cut off.

Neil’s fingers had peaked under Andrew’s shirt, caressing his hipbones and the small of his back. He didn’t really notice Andrew’s stall, concentrated on suckling the flesh of his neck. It wasn’t until his hands wandered a little further up, pulling Andrew’s shirt with him, that Andrew finally pulled back, sitting up abruptly.

“Stop,” Andrew commanded. Neil had little time to register before Andrew forcibly grabbed his hands, shoving them away, back at Neil.

The shock left Neil stuttering. “Wh-Wha? D-did I do something wrong?”

Andrew hissed, out of bed before the words finished leaving Neil’s lips. “I’m done,” was the only answer he gave.

“Hey, wait,” Neil yelped, sitting up. “Andrew, what the hell?”

Andrew was across the room already but it didn’t take Neil long to leap after him and grab his wrist. Andrew yanked out of it viciously enough to burn Neil’s fingers a little.

“What did I do?” Neil asked, desperate. He counted back, recalling each step to how they got here. “Skin’s no good today?”

Andrew was out the door without an answer, and the door clapped hard against the wall as he left. Neil stood there stupidly without a clue what had gone wrong, but when he recovered, it only took him moments to grab his shirt and chase behind.

Andrew had his sneakers on and keys in hand by the time Neil came into the living room. He forced himself to ignore Nicky and Aaron in the beanbag chairs in front of the TV with controllers in their hand and the way they stared as Neil stopped behind Andrew.

“Where are you going?”

“Wherever I won’t strangle you,” Andrew finally replied, pulling the front door open and trying to slam it behind him.

“What the fuck? At least talk to me!” Neil jammed himself in the doorway to keep Andrew from slamming the door in his face, but Andrew was fine to leave him there with the door ajar, stomping down the hall. Neil struggled to slip on his sneakers and chase behind as Andrew headed downstairs to his car.

Neil caught up in the parking lot as Andrew was seating him in the driver’s seat and about to close the door. Neil grabbed it, fighting Andrew to keep the door open. “Andrew, wait,” Neil begged, bending down so they were eye-to-eye. “I don’t want to leave you alone. Tell me how to fix it.”

Andrew stared at him for a long minute before he put a heavy hand on Neil’s chest and pushed him back. “Stay.”

Neil tripped back onto the curb but it felt like falling. That word was never meant to burn him like this. It had never meant being apart from Andrew before. He stumbled back, watching numbly as Andrew slammed the door and started the engine. It took only moments for Andrew to pull out of his parking space and Neil felt nothing. Nothing.

He watched him until the car was out of sight and only then did he wander back up to the dorm.

Nicky and Aaron still sat in front of the TV, but Nicky paused their game when he saw Neil come back alone. Vaguely, he heard Nicky call after him followed by the sharp yelp he let out as Aaron punched him in the shoulder.

No one followed Neil into the bedroom.

He didn’t keep track of time, laying in Andrew’s bed. It took all his strength just to keep himself still, to not run, to remind himself that home was with Andrew, that he would be back. He had to be.

But this was a mistake that Neil had never made before and a new type of fear sprouted in his chest. Neil had spent so many years shutting people out, closing himself off, the spike of rejection and the shame that came with it tore Neil’s breath away. He hadn’t known something could hurt him like this, and it was terrifying.

He’d never touched Andrew in a way that Andrew ran from before.

Eventually, the other boys had to turn in for the night and Neil fled to the living room, curling up on the couch with his knees hugged to his chest, nails biting into his scalp as they lodged into his hair, painful but grounding him. If he had pain, he was still here, still alive and safe, and still waiting for Andrew.

It was two in the morning before Andrew returned and Neil launched to his feet like the couch was burning him. Andrew stopped by the door, eyeing him, cold, cut off, sinking back against the door in the dark of the room. Neil tried not to choke as he stood in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” he said immediately, eyes squeezed tight, ready for the inevitable. He’d pushed Andrew too far, took too much, and all he had left to clasp onto was a string of apologies. The one thing he had prided himself in, the thing he had brought to the table, he had ruined it. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Andrew’s blank expression pulled. “Shut up,” he bit around a vicious frown, stepping into Neil’s space, so they were nose to nose.

Neil’s shoulder rose to his ears. “I-I’m sorry,” he said, quieter this time.

Andrew forcibly pulled Neil’s hands. He hadn’t realized how tightly they were clenched at his gut, knotted in his shirt. “Stop it.”

Neil shook his head but let Andrew wrestle him free of his own death grip. It had been the only thing keeping him up, and his knees wobbled and gave out as soon as Andrew straightened out his cramping fingers. He had irreparably fucked everything up in a way he had sworn to both of them he never would, and he was falling apart in the aftermath. Guilt, shame, fear swirled around him in a heady cocktail that screamed danger and meltdown but Neil had no control to stop it.

Andrew delicately lowered himself down after Neil, still so impossibly close that he was practically sitting on Neil’s lap as he kneeled around his thighs. His hands weren’t so gentle though. He had a rough grip on the back of Neil’s neck, pulling him forward and a fist on his collar to pull him down. He slouched so he could keep an eye on Neil’s face as he forced him over.

“Look at me. Hey, look at me,” he was saying, rattling Neil with a shake of his collar. “Breathe.“ 

Neil peeled his eyes open, forced air into his lungs, and the pressure building up in him alleviated, if only a little. Following directions was easier than thinking. He sucked in hungry gasps of air and tried not to choke, meeting Andrew’s eyes. 

"Forget it,” Andrew commanded.

“No.”

Andrew shook him, and Neil’s neck protested but he couldn’t fight Andrew’s strong grip. “Forget it,” he repeated.

“I can’t.”

“I can.” It couldn’t be true. It wasn’t. Andrew remembered everything. But he looked determined. Stubborn. “You won’t do it again.” Was he telling Neil or himself?

Neil fought to keep his face neutral, to keep in every apology that was fighting to invade the air between them. Slowly, he shook his head.

“Then I’ve already forgotten.” A lie. It wasn’t what he really meant. But it was a grudging forgiveness.

Neil would be more careful. He would. He still had Andrew’s trust, by some miracle. He still had Andrew. He hadn’t lost him.

Andrew pulled him up for a fierce but brief kiss, and Neil didn’t ask for more. Andrew’s grip on his neck turned a little less deadly and he ran his thumb along the small hairs at the bottom of Neil’s hairline, no longer fighting this joint demon and choosing instead to keep them a breath apart, foreheads pressed close to the point of painful.

Neil made an attempt to swallow the lump in his throat and let out a breath that was something like relief.

“I’m not going anywhere, dumbass,” Andrew said lowly, just to clarify.


End file.
